It is a fucking great time to be a kid. Ignoring bullshit cash-ins like Walking With Dinosaurs, The Smurfs 15 and Planes: Why Aren't There Any Humans?, there is a constant stream of top quality cinema being made for them. Marvel's keeping the rate steady with its Universe, Warner Brothers just made a movie about rectangular bricks that made me cry and Disney are still sticking (mostly) to their ridiculously high standard. Two years ago, they took a real long shot and gave The Muppets' biggest fan, Jason Segel, the keys to the theater, simultaneously reviving a cinematic franchise that had been dead for over ten years. It turns out all Muppets from Space needed was a scriptwriter who got it. Someone who understood why The Muppets used to be such beloved icons. Jason Segel played the music, lit the lights and gave us The Muppets: a movie so tuned in to the soul of the universe that it may have gone beyond the quality of the 1979 original. It was a gorgeously written cinematic love letter that made me cry on multiple occasions. Muppets Most Wanted is just another episode, and it wears that badge proudly for all the good and bad that means. Jason Segel's absence is felt everywhere the moment it begins. There's a lot of humour, but there's not a lot of heart. There's not a total absence of love for the Muppets, but it's clear and obvious this wasn't written by as devoted a fan as Segel. You can call it snobbish, but I can't help feeling privileged after being treated so well two years ago. Even if I wasn't holding far too high expectations though, there is a distinct sense of lacked effort in the film. The first song acknowledges that this will never be as good as what came before it, and there are themes of coming second and the nature of sequels throughout the whole film, including villain and Kermit lookalike Constantine constantly deriding his sidekick Ricky Gervais, who he literally calls 'Number Two', for living in his shadow, and the sheer ridiculousness within the amount of celebrity cameos poking fun at a studio sequel always demanding more. But that's kind of where it ends. It seems the writers were content to just acknowledge they'll never be as good and continue being not as good. There's not even aspirations to at least match what came before. It's undeniable that there's a slight disappointment in this. But here's the thing: if Muppets Most Wanted came out before The Muppets, I wouldn't be saying this. It's a really good movie. It understands when and how to use which character, the songs are clever and it remains consistently funny throughout. There's a scene where Swedish Chef plays a game of chess with Death, for fuck's sake! You don't get a reference much better than that. The fact is, we didn't deserve everything extra that The Muppets gave us. Muppets Most Wanted is all we deserve. It's just as shame it comes on the coat tails of something far superior. But at the end of the day, a not-the-best Muppets movie is still better than almost every other kid's movie. And hey, a Muppets movie without Jack Black's stupid solo scat singing is the best, so I should just shut the fuck up and be happy.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
There's a scene fairly early on in Captain America 2: Electric Boogaloo where Steve Rogers is talking to Robert Redford. If you're unaware of Samuel L. Jackson's deal with Marvel to appear in a further 349 of their movies, you may be led to believe that Col. Nick Fury is dead. Robert Redford, one of SHIELD's senior officers, wants to know details of Fury's last conversation with the Cap. The Cap, recalling Fury's final words - "Don't trust anyone." - plays dumb. The two share some very subtle threats between each other in an exchange reminiscent of an old political thriller. Then Captain America grabs his invincible boomerang shield and walks out of the office. That's a pretty good example of what this movie is. It functions really well as a 70s paranoia flick, but your capacity to enjoy it will depend highly on your ability to tuck that stuff away when it's time for a guy with a robot arm to punch a car off the road, or when our heroes use a magic shovel to disappear into the ground when they're in a pinch. It's pretty smart when it suggests that HYDRA's intent to enslave the human race failed in WWII when people resisted a forceful takeover, so they retreated to the shadows and slowly laid the pieces to us accepting enslavement without even knowing it. You don't have to look further than our total complacence at being told the NSA is observing every selfie and chain mail we send to get the feeling that maybe there's a shred of truth to this. It makes for some genuinely high stakes when it's revealed this surveillance is part of an algorithm designed to detect the possibility of future insurgents so that the few million of them may be wiped out in one quick hit to ensure the survival of the human race forevermore. It's pretty clever. But all of this information is delivered by a talking super computer built from the implanted mind of a dead Nazi mad scientist. Actually, I can't even muster a complaint about that. I've just one question, though: isn't this supposed to be a kid's movie? Bar two or three action set pieces, the majority of this flick is spent in a corporate setting, with a bunch of people in normal clothes talking about politics. Kids are going to be bored shitless by this, and why shouldn't they be? I needed something as dumbed down as "HYDRA bad, CAPTAIN AMERICA good" to start paying attention, so why should the children be asked to consider the ethical dilemma of one sole organisation holding the kill switch? This hearkens back to an earlier review of mine, where I talked about our demand that our heroes grow up with us, and while I myself got a lot of enjoyment out of this, I can't help but feel sorry for the kid with the Cap shield tossing in his seat because he just wants someone to fucking punch something. And he's right: these are comic book movies. Above everything else, they should know what fun is. Captain America 2: The Rise of Electro does every now and then. The action scenes are ingeniously constructed, and oh so gloriously full of real effects that generates genuine excitement and tension. It's just a shame that it comes in exchange for a paranoid political thriller that no-one but the adults are going to get anything out of. Sit tight though, kids. Guardians of the Galaxy has a fucking uzi-toting raccoon. Marvel still remembers how to have fun.
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